There’s strength to be found in silliness

Hey there lovely friendos <3 You know what, I have something I want to say -- It's something that has been really hard for me to work up the courage to say for... FOREVER. But you know what, I'm going to do it. It will be like daring people to say naughty words really loud in class at high school, except far less inane and significantly more empowering. I AM AN ILLUSTRATOR! Now, that might come as literally no shock at all. You must be sitting there thinking, "Why... yes. Yes, Georgie. You are an Illustrator. That's why I'm here, on your illustrator's website, looking for -- I don't know -- insights into illustration." Maybe you're not thinking that at all and you actually have a bit of insight as to where I'm going with this? Maybe you can tell I'm bad at impersonations? Either way, allow me to spin you a yarn~ Those who knew me growing up would remark without exception of what a quiet child I was. Always reading, and if not reading; drawing, and if not drawing; hiding up a tree. If not simultaneously drawing, reading and hiding at the top of said tree. Stealthily and adeptly reading novels out of my age group like some dreadfully boring ninja, I liked to challenge myself. That is, I liked to challenge myself in ways that were comfortable and familiar to me, that didn't involve a certain perceived risk.  I've always had phenomenally low self esteem, which translated to me being more comfortable at the top of a ten metre tree than on the ground and talking to someone. I could have fallen and broken any number of bones, and yet interacting with other people was the truly terrifying scenario -- for they might find out what a rubbish person I am. Far better to never meet anybody, then I'd be safe from being known! I suppose you could say I was running from a fear of judgement, and that it's a very silly and irrational thing to do. However, the whole thing about being overwhelmed by irrational fears and anxieties, is that it comes with the catch: you don't get to act rationally. I've grown so very much from that time; I graduated highschool with fantastic results, studied my passions at University and even abroad. I've learnt to interact with people and that interpersonal relationships are actually the most valuable things that a person could ever hold, I've amassed a considerable amount of skills in those times but have never had the confidence to stand up to the voice that says I'm a fraud and a failure. That's why such a silly statement means so much to me. It's an exercise in bravery. It's my sword and shield to combat my fears. It's owning my achievements, honouring my failures and choosing to use them -- not as bricks to weigh me down but as stepping stones to a brighter future. tree

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